I was taken back. After all, we live in Florida and we really don't have too many nights that require flannel jams, in fact, sometimes it's so warm that you just want to kick the blankets off. But when I asked her again, she said the exact same thing.
Then she surprised me by saying, "But don't worry about shopping, I ordered Flannel Jams online and will receive them soon. If you want to get me something, just find a couple of stocking stuffers."
Now the wife and I don't go big on Christmas shopping. We actually prefer a good meal, some seasonal music and just experiencing the Spirit of the season. Her comment seemed so strange to me that I had trouble getting it out of my mind. But I would find out soon enough so I just let it go.
It wasn't long before she left with her horse trailer and no horse in it. That was the first clue. Then, while she was gone, a bill of sale came in the mail from Saratoga, New York for an item entitled Vito, Tony and Billy. So, it was easy to figure out that she was buying a horse, but it sure looked to me like it was three horses. One unplanned for is enough of a problem, but three. That just couldn't be worked out.
When she returned she did indeed have a horse. She met the horse transport at a local truck stop where it stopped to drop off her living cargo on the way to Florida's "Horse Capital", Ocala, with a small herd on their way to training.
As she unloaded this slender, yet tall, dappled gray former race horse, she said, "I know you're probably mad but this is my Flannel Jams, my Christmas present."
"But what about Vito, Tony and Billy; here's the bill of sale," I said.
She just laughed, saying that was his former name which she was changing. And I stood there realizing the horse is here and the horse is here to stay. After all, she's "The Horse Lady" and I knew this about her when I met her. But I had to admit he was handsome and she planned on training him for English eventing, so that was that. Oh, she's a shrewd one, my "Horse Lady.
At first I tried to ignore him; I didn't want to get attached. But over time he started working me over with his quirks and his looks and now, well, just call me the biggest sucker in the "horse husband" community. He even shakes his head from side to side from the feeding stall when he wants me to know he's finished with his grain and is ready to go out to pasture. And he's well behaved, ever the gentleman, so I really can't complain and to tell the truth I've grown very fond of him. Now I just call him "Jammer".
Thank goodness he lost the name Vito, Tony and Billy. If he was running around here with that moniker I guess I'd have to be watching my back at all times. But I still want to know why the other horse right next to him on the horse transport was named The Fixer. I think I'm better off leaving that one alone.
"Jammer is the latest of the many horses I care for as the staff assistant to my "Horse Lady". If you want to learn more about what is expected of a "horse husband" and how those things are dealt with, you might enjoy my book soon to be published. Confessions of a "Horse Husband" is expected to be available on Amazon Kindle no later than late September.
Horses: They Rock Our World!